Does Your Home Support the Life You’re Living Now?

Have you looked around your home—or even a particular room—recently and sensed a quiet disconnect? There may not be anything wrong with the space itself; however, it no longer supports the way you actually live.

Sometimes those changes are subtle. Other times, the change comes abruptly. That is normal. Life (and we) are constantly growing and evolving, and our spaces should grow with us.

Whatever the reason, a home (or space) that once functioned effortlessly can begin to feel slightly off and out of step with our current daily life.

Often, we don’t notice this right away, so we continue living with surroundings and systems designed for an earlier version of ourselves (or our children). These spaces once made sense, but now they require more effort than they give back.

When a home no longer supports our current lives, the outcome doesn’t always look like chaos. Sometimes, it’s simply this low-grade friction. And we gradually realize that our surroundings no longer align with our actual lives.

Begin by Acknowledging the Shift

Before you start changing anything outwardly in your home, it helps to acknowledge any changes that are already happening inwardly.

You may find yourself less willing to tolerate clutter than you used to.

You may be craving quiet moments right now.

Maybe you’re drawn to spaces that make you feel at peace, where you can think more clearly.

You might be longing for more beauty in your life—not the kind that’s meant to impress others, but the kind that restores your mind, body, and spirit.

Or perhaps you need more space because life, in general, is feeling unbearably cluttered.

If any of these are true, that’s a sign that it may be time to make some tweaks to your home so it better supports what you need right now.

And let’s keep these inward desires in mind, as we start to look at the outward parts of our home.

Letting Go of What No Longer Fits

There is often a growing frustration when a home no longer fits your current needs, like when one of your favorite sweaters has accidentally gone through the dryer and is now too small. Nothing is wrong with it. It simply no longer fits the way it once did.

Over time, our homes naturally start to accumulate things. Those items and organizational systems were perfect for what was needed and wanted at that time. However, when the life we have been living changes, holding onto everything as it was can feel cumbersome and out of step with our current lives.

For me, our home was once brimming with books, music, sports equipment, craft supplies, and the many practical things required to support a busy household of four growing children.

After my children were grown, I chose to downsize. It was then that I discovered how difficult letting go can be, not just of objects, but of an old identity as well. I had to release old patterns, expectations, and assumptions about what my home needed to keep holding on to.

When we do need to let go, it isn’t about erasing the past. Done thoughtfully, it enables us to honor the past even more by elevating what we've chosen to keep.

Create Spaces That Support You

So as not to get overwhelmed, choose one room (or corner of a room) that you really want to transform first.

Before looking around the space to decide what to change, I want you to pause and do something essential.

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. From that grounded place, begin to answer these questions to clarify your vision.

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to feel in this space?
  
  

• What do I come into this space to do—or hope to do more often?

• What would make being here feel easier, calmer, or more supportive?

  
  

Once the vision is clear on the purpose of the space, use the following steps:

• Declutter. Remove anything that does not support the vision you have.
  
  

• Elevate. Carefully choose what to keep or add, ensuring each item supports your vision.
  
  

• Establish routines and rituals. How will you use this space? How should it be maintained?
  Make sure each family member understands the expectations.
  
  

Let Beauty Be Restorative, Not Performative

There is a difference between seeking beauty to impress others and choosing it as a way to inspire you and restore your spirit.

In a supportive home, beauty is not about perfection. It is about how a space makes you feel as you live in it. Does it soothe your nervous system? Does it hum in the background, like a well-oiled machine, helping you live your life more efficiently? Does it inspire you?

Perhaps you want to be a woman who writes—journals, letters, cards to loved ones. If so, create a small writing corner. Add a lamp with soft light. Choose beautiful writing supplies you love (my favorites are from Rifle Paper Co. and Papier). Place a framed photo or an orchid nearby.

Then, establish rituals within that space. Maybe it’s early morning with coffee, a candle lit, and instrumental music playing softly. Cultivating rituals such as these within your space allows it to become not just beautiful, but meaningful.

A supportive home allows beauty to be lived with, rather than simply for show.

Honor the Season You're In

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, as if you have no idea where to start, start small. With a room, a corner, or even a drawer. Decide how much time you can invest per day (or week). Schedule those on your calendar.

Then watch as, slowly, the days and weeks unfold: your spaces feel lighter, and your daily routines feel easier. Your home becomes something that inspires you and brings you joy. And even more importantly, it starts to reflect the life you are actually living now.

If you’d like help beginning this process with clarity and calm, I’ve created a free guided journal to walk you through it. It offers you 14 pages of reflective prompts and space to write. This can help you decide what no longer serves you, and clarify what you want for this current season.

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